Friendship For Free

According to Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson, ‘The Best Things In Life Are Free’. I suppose it really depends on what you consider to be ‘the best things’.

*Some parks are free to visit.

*Breathing is free, unless you were planning on buying that bag of Kanye West gig air… I’m thinking not.

*Dreaming is free.

*Learning is free (if you aren’t forced to buy textbooks and the like. Also, I was informed the other day that youtube are working towards subscriptions, which will be a sad day for me indeed).

*Love is generally free. Getting love may not be (dates, gifts, time… whatever is the currency of choice these days).

In my experience, I feel more that I’d like the best things to be free, but often they’re not. Such as friendship. Friendships are an investment, of time and finances. They are a risky investment too, let’s not forget that.

money treeIn the beginning, we have no idea what the return of investment may be. We know what we’d like it to be, such as love, support, sharing of experiences, someone to throw ideas around with, someone to make us laugh, someone who’ll go along for the ride if you ask them to. Someone to laugh with.

We spend our time placing pebbles across a muddy path in the hopes that it will be the foundation of a stable route into each other’s lives, and one that will weather better with a solid base. But what if the other person places their pebbles elsewhere rather than on the path you chose? It may never get finished, or be patchy at best.

With little thought, you spend money on outings, believing you’re building memories that you can talk about for many years to come.

You may share your life experiences, the ups and downs, whilst they’re invested in someone else. They’re wanting someone, or something, else. You could just be passing the time.

I know what it is that I want, and I know the kind of friendships that will benefit me, but rarely do I encounter them. I meet the people who aren’t interested in who I am. I meet the people who just want someone to meet up with, because they’re short on other options. But, most often, I meet people I have very little in common with. The kind that talks over me because there’s nothing I say they want to hear. The kind that, when I suggest something to do, it’s disregarded because it’s not what they want.

I’m not without options or hope. I work towards sharing my ideals, and who I am, in the hope that I attract someone enough like me to share my time with. I put myself out into the world, experiencing whatever I can, to give myself the opportunity to meet new people.

Friendship rootsBut, most importantly, I do the things I want to do, even if that means doing them alone. I will not put my life on hold waiting for someone else to ‘fit’. I will continue to work towards the person I see myself as, and believe that the right people will come into my life when the time is right for them.

Until then, I will learn to eat comfortably alone. I will learn to join groups, without a known friend to laugh with. I will encourage others in those groups, because I would want someone to do that for me. I will be the friend that I want wherever I am able, because that is who I am, and I firmly believe we should lead by example.